Powerless

Can't Find a Way to Fix This

The past couple of days have brought a huge rift in my family, over painful allegations I’m not at liberty to discuss. These don’t involve me directly, but are between two people I care very much about and those in their personal orbits, and I can’t help but be involved, at least peripherally. Watching this thing play out will not be easy, and whatever the outcome, people I love have been, or will be hurt.

I am powerless in the face of it. Can’t change it. Can’t heal it. Can’t make the truth rise, though it always does, and so all I can do is wait. Reaction from other family members varies between nonchalance and borderline viciousness. I can’t do anything about that, either, and don’t see a way to repair the break. Maybe that’s not my job, but as the matriarch, it always has been in the past. Fixing things. That’s what I do.

I also grow things. If you’re reading this, you’ve likely seen pics of my gardens past. Many were bountiful. A few were kind of lame. Last year’s was a bit disappointing, as I’m still learning how to deal with Missouri soil and pests and weather. But I’ve decided one thing I don’t have to feel helpless about is creating something beautiful, and that’s what I’m going to do. Outside, and also on the page.

Last year’s squash

I’ll also be working on this new book. I’ve mentioned it a bit, and I’m not ready to give a whole lot of spoilers yet, but beyond the story itself is the message contained within. As we’ve become more and more dependent on technology, we have lost connection to the most crucial things: the living planet, our human brethren, and the Divine, however you want to define that. Our power resides within those connections, and it’s vital to reforge those bonds. And sometimes it takes an unlikely heroine to remind us that we all have abilities we’ve forgotten, and that’s where our strength lies.

I’ll keep you posted on my progress with book and garden. Here’s a winter photo. Let’s see what summer brings.